Big Idea Daily | The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
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A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departingby Bronnie Ware |
“Having the courage to be ourself and not who others expect us to be may take a lot of strength and honesty. But so does lying on our deathbed and admitting that we wished we had done it differently. This regret—wishing they had been true to themselves—was the most common of all.”BRONNIE WARE |
BIG IDEA
On Regret
FROM THE BOOK“The importance of the message is clearly one that resonates with people from all walks of life.
After all, we are all going to die, and none of us wishes to do so with regrets. In our heart, we want to live our best life, which also includes daring to be our best self....
Finding the courage to act or surrender will never be as painful as lying on a deathbed with regrets.”
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Brian's Notes
That’s from the Introduction.
Before we talk about a few of the top regrets of the dying, I want to step back and look at the power, and importance of regret.
As I just mentioned, Dan Pink wrote an entire book on it called The Power of Regret. It’s truly fantastic. Check out those Notes.
For now, know this: “Positive emotions are essential, of course. We’d be lost without them. It’s important to look on the bright side, to think cheerful thoughts, to detect light in darkness. Optimism is associated with better physical health. Emotions like joy, gratitude, and hope significantly boost our well-being. We need plenty of positive emotions in our portfolio. They should outnumber the negative ones. Yet overweighting our emotional investments with too much positivity brings its own dangers. The imbalance can inhibit learning, stymie growth, and limit our potential.
That’s because negative emotions are essential, too. They help us survive. Fear propels us out of a burning building and makes us step gingerly to avoid a snake. Disgust shields us from poisons and makes us recoil from bad behavior. Anger alerts us to threats and provocations from others and sharpens our sense of right and wrong. Too much negative emotion, of course, is debilitating. But too little is also destructive. A partner takes advantage of us again and again; that snake sinks its teeth into our leg. You and I and our upright, bipedal, large-brained sisters and brothers wouldn’t be here today if we lacked the capacity, occasionally but systematically, to feel bad.
As we assemble the full lineup of negative emotions—sadness standing next to contempt perched beside guilt—one emerges as both the most pervasive and most powerful. Regret.
The purpose of this book is to reclaim regret as an indispensable emotion—and to show you how to use its many strengths to make better decisions, perform better at work and school, and bring greater meaning to your life.”
And, I want you to also know that Dan thinks that: “Nearly all regrets fall into four core categories— foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.”
He walks us through how to alchemize the lesson from each of those and tells us: “If we know what we truly regret, we know what we truly value. Regret—that maddening, perplexing, and undeniably real emotion—points the way to a life well lived.”
With that quick embrace of the power of regret, let’s talk about... DEATH.
Big Ideas
01: ON REGRET
02: ON DEATH
03: THE #1 REGRET
04: PURPOSE
05: HAPPINESS
“Of all the regrets and lessons shared with me as I sat beside their beds, the regret of not having lived a life true to themselves was the most common of all. It was also the one that caused the most frustration, as the client’s realization came too late.”BRONNIE WARE |
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