Big Idea Daily | The Prism
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Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Futureby Laura Day |
“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”LAO-TZU |
BIG IDEA
You = The Hero of Your Own Story
FROM THE BOOK“Before we go any further, I’m going to take a short detour to tell you a story—the story of how I came to recognize and understand the abilities I have and, eventually, developed a systematic approach to teaching others how to foster their own intuition and transform their lives.
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In other words, this is the story of how I came to write this book.
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I am eager to share this with you because many of you are carrying heavy histories. You may be exhausted, even hopeless. In Welcome to Your Crisis I wrote something I firmly believe: ‘Rock bottom is a good place to start.’ We spend most of our energy holding on to what is. When that is taken away, our hands are freed to create once we have the tools to do so. Like you, I carry the story and injuries of my parents and their parents as well as my own. I remind myself that without these injuries I would not be a teacher. Though sometimes it still sucks! But you’ve got to make the scars useful. Or they grow so tight they squeeze the life right out of you.
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Your stories change as you look at them from different angles. The important thing is to be the hero of your own story.”
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Brian's Notes
I got goosebumps typing that as I felt into Laura Day’s Heroic story.
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I’ll skip the details and encourage you to read about them in the book but I can tell you that she had a VERY, VERY, VERY challenging upbringing.
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To put it in perspective, her mom, sister, AND brother all committed suicide. (Gah.) Her Heroic story of redemption is, in and of itself, incredibly inspiring. The humility and coherence with which she tells her story is remarkable.
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We’ve been discussing the importance of creating a coherent narrative quite a bit in the last set of Notes.
Dan Siegel is one of the world’s leading practical scientists on the subject of creating coherent narratives. He tells us the coherence of our narratives is one of THE greatest predictors of our child’s secure (or insecure!) attachment to us which is one of THE greatest predictors of their psychological well-being.
These are the final words of his book The Power of Showing Up: “What’s more, we can earn secure attachment in our own lives, simply by doing the hard work of reflecting on the past and making sense of our past experiences. When we can tell a coherent story about where we’ve come from and how it affects us in the present, we can then take clear and powerful steps toward becoming the kind of parents we want to be. ... In many ways, learning to show up for our kids teaches them the skills of showing up fully for life itself. What better gift could we possibly offer?”
We also talk about the power of creating a “Redemption” narrative in our Notes on Dan Pink’s The Power of Regret and William Damon’s “Life Review” process is a great way to get clarity on and integrate your past, present, and future. (See Notes on A Round of Golf with My Father for more on that.)
But here’s the #1 thing I want you to know right now...
You are, and MUST BE (!), the Hero of your own story. We MUST do the hard work to shift from being the VICTIM in our story to the HERO of our story.
Yes, I have often wished that I didn’t grow up in a lower middle class family with a father who struggled with alcohol and whose father also struggled with alcohol and killed himself.
I often wish I had at least one truly meaningful conversation with my dad while he was alive. Yes, I wish I was taught how to have a growth mindset and approach my challenges rather than avoid them. Yes, I have often wished that I didn’t experience my own psychological despair that led me to contemplate ending my own life. (Sigh.)
But... And this is THE MOST IMPORTANT “BUT” I’ve ever typed...
If I hadn’t experienced all those things and if I hadn’t experienced the depth of suicidal despair that I have felt, there’s NO WAY I could be typing this Note right now, and I hope, offering useful wisdom for YOU and your loved ones.
It’s my SUFFERING that has led to my COMPASSION and to my FIERCE (!) COMMITMENT to having enough practical wisdom to help you.
Therefore... “I remind myself that without these injuries I would not be a teacher. Though sometimes it still sucks! But you’ve got to make the scars useful. Or they grow so tight they squeeze the life right out of you.”
And... “Your stories change as you look at them from different angles. The important thing is to be the hero of your own story.”
You, my friend, are the Hero we’ve been waiting for. It’s time to embrace all those scars you’ve earned. It’s time to use all those challenges and lessons as FUEL for your quest to transform your consciousness so you can give your gifts to the world.
Big Ideas
01: BE THE HERO
02: THE EGO
03: THE COMPONENTS
04: THE CHAKRAS
05: A LITTLE-KNOWN LAW
“The question that should be constant in your being is not, ‘Why is this happening?’ but ‘What course am I taking, and what is the lesson I need to master in order to manifest what I want to create in the world?’”LAURA DAY |
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